TMC No. 04 - Early Evening Edition: Weekend Strong

Today we’re going to address a few questions at a high level, then in future editions we’ll go deeper. The big thing to remember is that for you, self-care is critical when managing the care of a relative, and this is different than raising a child. Different because we’re usually dealing with the subject of someone losing their own independence, which is hard for them. And in some cases we are dealing with end of life scenarios, and as humans we haven’t been trained for these situations. Remember to seek medical care or professional help in the event of an emergency and don’t go it alone.

Here we go. These are all real life scenarios that happen to us in real-life. I’ve lived all 3 of them in recent years.

Question 1: I'm struggling with guilt for not being able to provide round-the-clock care for my parent. How can I cope with this feeling?

Answer 1: Remember that seeking professional care is a responsible choice that prioritizes your loved one's well-being. Acknowledge your limitations and recognize that caregiving is a team effort. Seek emotional support from friends, family, or support groups who understand your situation. Practice self-compassion and prioritize self-care to avoid burnout. I know easier said than done, but so important.

Question 2: My mother's health is declining, and I'm unsure about end-of-life discussions. How can I approach this sensitive topic?

Answer 2: Choose a time when you can have a quiet, private conversation with your mother. Approach the topic with empathy, expressing your love and concern. Use gentle language and give her the opportunity to express her feelings and wishes.

Share that you want to honor her choices regarding medical decisions, funeral arrangements, and any other concerns she might have. Reassure her that your goal is to make sure her wishes are respected.

It is important to have these conversations early as once your relative is in decline their cognition is not always what it used to be and confusion and anxiety may set in. In some cases, you can only do the best you can, and you need to know that is ok.

Question 3: My partner and I are considering assisted living for our aging parents. What factors should we consider when choosing a facility?

Answer 3: Research is crucial. Visit potential facilities to assess their cleanliness, staff friendliness, and available amenities. Ask about the staff-to-resident ratio to ensure proper attention and care. Inquire about safety measures, medical services, and social activities provided. Consider the facility's location in relation to family members and medical facilities. Engage your parents in the decision-making process to address their preferences and needs.

I’ll be releasing a short e-book soon to help with this selection process.

Stay tuned!